Dear Michael Steele, Chairman, Republican National Committee

Thanks so much for your cordial letter. I'm honored to be considered your friend. I appreciate the opportunity you've given me to provide my views on various policy questions.

I must admit I was somewhat surprised at first by the rather abrupt and preemptory tone of your letter. On reflection I became convinced that you were somewhat incensed when you wrote it, and there's no need to apologize for the tone (hey, what are friends for?).

However, I find I can't in good conscience fill in the enclosed survey as it appears to have been created by an overworked staffer. The only valid answers are "yes", "no", and "No opinion" - and in a great many cases my opinion is somewhat more nuanced than a simple yes or no. Additionally, there are questions that are poorly written and which seem to discuss policies that don't match my recollection of those of the current administration or the Democrats I'm aware of. I presume those are the result of extreme time pressure that led the staffer to take shortcuts, and these have frankly spoiled what might have been a good and worthwhile survey.

Here are my responses in detail:

1. Do you agree with Barack Obama and the Democrats that taxes should be raised for the sake of "fairness", regardless of the negative impact it is likely to have on the economy? Why, no, that would be madness. I'm shocked President Obama and the Democrats have taken such a position. I am, however, extremely concerned about both the current federal deficit and the outrageous national debt. I've been concerned about this since the Nixon administration, and few administrations have done much to actually resolve this issue. I feel there will be no alternative - the government raises funds by taxes, and we need more taxes collected in order to cover the deficit before we can begin to make a dent in the debt.
2. Do you believe the federal government has gone too far in bailing out failing banks, insurance companies and the auto industry? While I certainly had a twinge when Chrysler and GM received federal funds, I believe the government took what they considered necessary steps to keep the economy afloat and sustain confidence in the currency for a short period. Based on what I currently observe, it seems unlikely that this will be repeated on any scale any time soon. It also appears that much of the bailout funds will be repaid. On the whole, it may have been a distasteful but necessary exercise.
3. Do you support amnesty for illegal immigrants? Well, not in so many words. However, I agree with George Bush and John McCain and believe our current immigration policies are too restrictive in some cases. I also believe that should the policies be loosened, it would be silliness to refuse people who had come sooner than legally allowed to achieve legal immigrant status. Perhaps that's just my heritage.
4. Should English be the official language of the United States? I guess that depends on what such a designation would mean in practice.
5. Are you in favor of granting retroactive Social Security eligibility to illegal immigrants who gain U.S. citizenship through an amnesty program? It depends - did they pay their FICA contributions (and did their employers pay their half)? If not, they certainly didn't earn eligibility; if they did, it seems kind of odd not to give them the services they paid for.
6. Are you in favor of the expanded welfare benefits and unlimited eligibility (no time, education or work requirements) that Democrats in Congress are pushing to pass? I was unaware of such an effort, so can't really answer without knowing what's being "pushed" and how much support it has. I do support limited welfare, and consider the most recent reforms better than the previous state. However, there's always room for improvement.
7. Do you believe that Barack Obama's nominees for federal courts should be immediately and unquestionably approved for their lifetime appointments by the U.S. Senate? That would be horrible abdication of the Senate's responsibility - though in all fairness, I'm sure that every president wished that the Senate would do just that.
8. Do you believe that the best way to increase the quality and effectiveness of public education in the U.S. is to rapidly expand federal funding while eliminating performance standards and accountability? No, of course not. Based on what I hear on the news, I don't believe President Obama believes this would be prudent either, at least not based on what I read about the Race To The Top fund. Does your staffer have a citation?
9. Do you support the creation of a national health insurance plan that would be administered by bureaucrats in Washington, D.C.? Probably not, but why does the location of the bureaucrats matter? Would it be better if the office that administered the health insurance plans were located in, say, Omaha or Peoria? No, that's just humor. Having health insurance that is usable anywhere in the U.S. rather than being restricted to a particular state would be a tremendous convenience, but that suggests that either the insurance would be separately registered and governed in every state, or would be regulated by a federal policy.
10. Do you believe that the quality and availability of health care will increase if the federal government dictates pricing to doctors and hospitals? The government already does this with Medicare, and it seems to have improved health care availability for those who are covered. I suspect it's not as simple a question as it appears at first glance.
11. Are you confident that new medicines and medical treatments will continue to be developed if the federal government controls prescription drug prices and sets profit margins for research and pharmaceutical companies? Pretty confident, yes, as long as there's a reasonable profit involved. Maybe not as many, maybe not as fast - but certainly they'll continue to be developed.
12. Are you in favor of creating a government-funded "Citizen Volunteer Corps" that would pay young people to do work now done by churches and charities, earning Corps Members the same pay and benefits given to military veterans? No. Indeed "paid volunteers" seems an oxymoron. Do you have names of people who have proposed such a system? Also, the terminology here seems somewhat ambiguous - typically I think of a veteran as a former member of the armed forces, and people leave the armed forces under a great many financial conditions. Is this the same pay as someone who was honorably discharged and is not serving in the reserve - which would be none? Or are you talking of someone who has retired?
13. Are you in favor of reinstituting the military draft, as Democrats in Congress have proposed? No - the all volunteer force has been quite successful overall. I do believe that under some circumstances a draft would become necessary, but I don't see those at this time. Do you have names of those Democrats who have proposed this?
14. Do you believe that the federal government should allow the unionization of Department of Homeland Security employees who serve in positions critical to the safety and security of our nation? They should be allowed to unionize to the same extent as other government position such as air traffic controllers.
15. Do you support Democrats' drive to eliminate workers' right to a private ballot when considering unionization of their place of employment? I believe that a worker should be allowed to vote for or against a union in a manner that does not invite intimidation or retribution from either side. However any such vote should be done in a cost effective manner.

I notice you also gave me the opportunity to contribute money to the Republican Party. While I have already budgeted all my available funds for this type of purpose for the year, I promise I will not contribute to the Democratic Party. Certainly my not contributing to the Democrats is worth as much to you as a contribution to the Republicans would be.

In closing, thanks for thinking of me and please consider providing a little more supervision in developing these surveys.

Your friend,

Mephistopheles O'Brien